Although it’s now customary for both women and men to approach each other, many cultures still expect men to take the lead.

As with any type of human interaction, there’s an art to approaching a woman. Here are some straight-from-the-source insights on how to make that first move.

Be Confident

A woman’s tendency to lean toward more assertive, self-assured men goes back to early human history. Alpha males who led the pack were better able to protect and provide for their people, as well as offer their mates higher quality genes to ensure survival across generations.

An easy way to understand the psychology behind this concept is to picture two men, side by side – one who stands tall with confidence and charisma, and one who appears so insecure that he’s afraid to even make eye contact. Which man is more likely to get the girl?

Don’t Be Pushy

No woman wants to feel like prey. There’s a clear difference between confidence and plain arrogance. Confidence is an attractive trait that pulls people in, while the need to overcompensate only reflects insecurity.

Remember that no means no – under all circumstances. Being unnecessarily persistent is the surest way to look like an insensitive creep, and leading with unwanted physical contact and sexual advances only make her see you as a threat to her safety.

Be Thoughtful

Women, especially those blessed with good looks and charisma, are used to men’s (often unwelcome) advances. You’ll need to stand out from the crowd and be intuitive if you want to get her attention.

Pay attention to her body language. If she looks relaxed and happy, go for it. Does she look busy or distressed? You may want to wait or tread with caution.

Approach her in a classy yet curious way that shows her that she’s someone you want to get to know. Keep the exchange natural and genuine. Make mental notes of her responses to carry the conversation along – the last thing you want to do is let the conversation go flat. The key here is to make her feel so comfortable and engaged that she’ll want to keep talking.

Conclusion

Let’s face it – whether you’re being approached or doing the approaching, talking to a stranger is always going to be somewhat uncomfortable. Don’t sweat it if she isn’t responsive or doesn’t seem interested. The right woman – the one with who you feel an instant, electric connection – is out there waiting.